Blitz: Resting Grinch Face by Alina Jacobs with an excerpt and a giveaway

Resting Grinch Face

by Alina Jacobs

Release date: November 17th, 2022

Genres: Adult, Contemporary, Holiday, Romance

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/63260868-resting-grinch-face

Blurb:

I might not be able to ruin his life, but I will ruin his Christmas.
Yeah, I’m totally a grinch. But I come by it honestly.
Because of Oliver Frost, I flamed out at Harvard in the most humiliating way possible.
Now I’m back in my small town—just in time to suffer through a display of small-town Christmas cheer so festive it will make you puke your eggnog. But who cares about being home for the holidays when you live with your family like a loser and have to share one bathroom with seven other people?

I plan to spend my Christmas purgatory being tsked at by elderly residents and passive aggressively prodded by my mom’s friends about what I plan to do with my life.
I don’t know, Deborah, work in the Christmas market and get screamed at by tourists because I didn’t put enough sprinkles on their little brats’ coffees? Seriously, who gives five-year-olds that much caffeine anyway?!

See? Like I said. A grinch.
I hate Christmas.
I set a nativity scene on fire.
Got in a fistfight with an elf—I lost, by the way.
And threw a vat of Snowman Surprise all over Oliver. Don’t ask. Small-town Christmas insanity.
Sleigh what? Oliver is here???
The man who humiliated me and ruined my life?

Ho ho ho, fuck no.

He doesn’t deserve a quaint small-town Christmas.
He doesn’t deserve a fancy Christmas tree from my family’s farm.
And he certainly does not deserve to win a bottle of whiskey in the daily Christmas market raffle.
Goddamn, I needed that drink.
He should be haunted like Ebenezer Scrooge by the Ghost of Christmas Past. Or at least the Ghost of Hookups Past.

Momma’s gonna have herself a very merry Christmas revenge.
Swapping the salt and sugar so his Christmas cookies are ruined? Be still, my shriveled little heart.
Spying on him so I can gather recon to ruin his holidate? Damn, I forgot how ripped his chest was.
Sneaking down his chimney to steal all the presents under his tree? Amateur hour.
Until I get caught…

Guess I’m spending Christmas in jail.
But when he sees I’m not wearing a bra under my ugly Christmas sweater, Oliver smiles like Santa has come early.
Crap! I knew I should have worn my good underwear.

Hold on to your stockings because the eggnog is spicy and mostly booze. This is a fuck-second-chances, Santa-stalker, holiday-revenge romantic comedy. Featuring Christmas-hating heroines with poor decision-making skills, ripped guys who will leave a very large package under your tree, and adorable corgis dressed up as reindeer, this standalone book has a happily ever after, guaranteed!

Purchase:

Amazon: https://amzn.to/3PaqxZT

EXCERPT:

“So that was why you wanted to come here to buy a Christmas tree.”

“What I—no, no, that is not why we’re here,” I told my sister. 

She raised an eyebrow. 

“We’re here to find a nice large Christmas tree for my living room. Then we’re going to decorate it all together as a family.”

I snuck a glance at Noelle, who was doing a little dance up on a table that made her tits jiggle in a very distracting manner. 

“Isn’t the Christmas market supposed to be family friendly anyway?” I added, irritated that all I wanted to do was stare at her. Thanks to her thigh-high black boots, the wide belt cinched at her waist, and her ridiculously short skirt, I was feeling uncomfortably warm, and I wasn’t even wearing a jacket. 

“They’re serving booze and overpriced wreaths,” Belle said dryly, handing over her credit card for a cup of the holiday-themed cocktail. “I saw someone advertising a pop-up Christmas bar. I don’t think this small town is all that family friendly after dark.” 

A brown-haired man in a ski cap came over to me. He had Noelle’s eyes. 

“Are you looking for a tree?” he croaked. He seemed a bit shellshocked, which was an understandable reaction if your daughter was using softcore porn to sell Christmas trees.

I snuck another glance at Noelle. The whole scene was a collage of all my favorite fantasies. 

Please keep it together. 

She’s crazy. You don’t want anything to do with her. Once you get your company on the right track, you can find a nice girl from a good family. 

Unfortunately, part of me was a little too interested in the messy girl who hucked sugary coffees and ran her hands under her boobs to sell Christmas trees.

I swallowed. 

“Do you have any ten-foot-tall trees left?” I asked Noelle’s father. His name tag read James.

“Of course we do,” he said, leading us through the crowded lot. The trees were flying off the racks. 

“I love a good businesswoman,” Belle said. 

James’s shoulders sagged slightly. “This is not how we normally operate.”

“You have to change with the times,” Belle assured him, patting him on the shoulder. 

“How about this one? It’s a Fraser fir, cut just a few hours ago.” James pointed.

“It’s nice. I think we can—”

“Or,” James interjected, “this one is a blue spruce. It’ll smell divine in your house, and if you keep it well watered, you can repurpose it as a Christmas Valentine’s Day tree.” 

“That one’s nice too.” 

“Or,” James said, ushering us to another large bushy tree, “this Douglas fir is—”

“Dad,” Noelle barked out from behind a tree. “We are not selling him a Christmas tree.” She slapped my hand away from the Douglas fir. “You can go buy a tree from Fran.” 

“Noelle.” Her father was appalled. “Please excuse my daughter,” he told me. “We are happy to be a part of your family’s Christmas tradition.”

“Uh, no we aren’t. You don’t deserve one of these trees. These trees are for nice people.” 

“I’ll take the Frasier fir, sir,” I said to James.

“Excellent choice. And I’m so sorry about my daughter’s rudeness,” he said pointedly at Noelle, who did not break her death glare on me. “Please accept a free wreath with your purchase.” 

Noelle squawked indignantly and kicked her dad in the shin.

“No discounts. I swear to God, Dad.” She pulled out a pen, clicked the top, crossed out the price on the tree, and doubled it. 

“Noelle,” her father hissed. “You can have the normal price,” he told me, shaking his head at Noelle. He easily picked up the tree. 

“Absolutely not,” she told her father, taking off after him. 

I grabbed her wrist, pulling her back to me. 

“Why do you hate me? You don’t even know me.”

“You just look like an Ebenezer Scrooge,” Noelle insisted, crossing her arms.

I kept my eyes firmly on her brown ones. I was not going to let her see me even thinking about looking at her tits. 

“You have resting bi—er, grinch face,” I amended. “You hate Christmas. You’re like a holiday energy vampire, just trying to ruin everyone else’s Christmas spirit.” 

“Well, you just want to walk around here swinging your dick and flinging money everywhere to make other people feel bad that they’re not as rich and privileged as you are,” she snapped back. 

“And here I thought you’d be grateful that I was here buying one of your little Christmas trees,” I said mockingly. 

“You don’t have to buy one,” Noelle replied hotly. “This is not a charity. We don’t need your money.” 

“You sure were working hard to sell them.” My eyes finally lost the battle and flicked down to her tits then quickly back up to her face. 

“Guess I have to buy a tree now,” I said, before she could hit me with a cutting remark.  

GIVEAWAY

Blitz-wide giveaway (INT) ends December 15

• 5x $5 Amazon gift cards

http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/d04251235225/

AUTHOR BIO:

If you like steamy romantic comedies with a creative streak, then I'm your girl!

Architect by day, writer by night, I love matcha green tea, chocolate, and books! So many books…

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